Article by Ross Dix-Peek

Does David Beckham Ever Really Play Football?

ByRoss Dix-Peek

David Beckham is, arguably, the best-known footballer or soccer player of all time. Why is that? If it is attributable to his prowess at kicking a round ball into the back of a net, why is it then that you hardly ever see this chap on a football field? Now, I must state from the very outset that I am not a fan of football or soccer, depending on what you want to call the game. I find it rather tedious watching twenty-two men chasing a round ball around a field for ninety-odd minutes, with only the scant possibility of a “goal” being scored, and a winner emerging from all this scurrying about. Not only that, the players, who are paid exorbitant fortunes for pursuing this little ball with apparent elan, are more actors and entertainers than athletes. In fact their thespian skills rival those of “actual” actors and famous film stars! No, when it comes to soccer, my overriding emotion is that of ennui…boredom. But, that said, I do find it rather amazing that David Beckham, a man who supposedly made his name through the pursuit of football, and has apparently played almost 400 matches for various clubs, including Manchester United, Real Madrid and now Real Galaxy (in the U.S.A.), and represented his country no-less than ninety-nine times, is never really to be seen on a football field. Again, to reiterate, I do not follow soccer, but surely I would have at least one memory of this footballer, a man that garners so much publicity and attention, actually scoring a goal or doing something productive on the field. No, alas, I have not the faintest of memories pertaining to such feats, and yet he has played for his country on countless occasions. Is that not a trifle odd? Anyway, all things considered, he seems, off the field that is (because that is only time you ever see this apparent footballer), an affable and likeable chap, but one thing concerns me. I do hope that he does not intend playing his next match wearing those “Armani” underpants he so proudly portrays in one of his recent advertisements, because it would surely result in the poor bugger castrating himself..and I do not think his wife, Mrs Miserable, I mean “Posh”, would be all too happy then!

About the Author

Born in Salisbury, Rhodesia, in 1970. Resident in Port Elizabeth, South Africa. An Archivist by profession, and freelance writer. Interested in History, Military History, the English Language and its etymology,Books, and other pursuits. contact details: e-mail address- dix-peek@webmail.co.za